Since My First Post...

So…not that you would know inherently, but it's been about three months since I initially wrote my first post for this blog. I think about new ideas and thoughts to share on this blog nearly every day and this is truly something I want to do, yet life’s complexities and realness really can throw you for a loop sometimes and distract you from what you’re passionate about. I’m glad to be writing this, I’m glad to be back, consistently.

Prior to the New Year, I was feeling stuck. I needed a change and something inside me was urging me to make it. Impulsively yes, but I feel like the universe deemed it necessary for me to do so.

AND THEN...

A buoy (pronounced boo-eee) just popped up to save me from sinking, but I still have to swim to it.

There are changes to be made and work to be done.

The feeling of trying to swim through Jello affected me in many aspects of my life, and it was affecting me most in my mind. It wasn’t worth it. If you can take the time to just get in tune with yourself and look inwards, please do so, nothing is worth compromising your mental health.  People or places. Listen to what your mind and body is screaming at you. So far, this leap has given me more encouragement in what’s to come and a nice reminder that life can and will change in small yet destined ways. It all becomes better as time evolves and is uncoded. You don’t have to be stuck. Try not to be stuck in anything really- a relationship, a job, a cycle, a negative mindset. It's hard and you’ll possibly have to dig yourself out many times (especially if you have depression), but it's always worth it to keep going. If something is truly holding you back, you have to let it go. If you're holding yourself back, recognize that you have to change your thought patterns or work towards something else that actually brings you joy. Easier said than done. Your mental health comes first. If you feel like you’re drowning too, try to swim. And damn you know what, swimming takes work! Luckily, we don't have to be Michael Phelps. We can choose our own pace and if we're lucky maybe someone will hand us floaties along the way. Steer away from sharks, they just tear you down. Take comfort in knowing that if all else fails, you and only you have the control and power to work on, take care, and improve yourself.

So, now I’m here. Trying to make Dory proud.

Just keep swimming.

Since then, I have been thinking about my goals, improvements, and what steps I need to take moving forward. I’ll list them out. If you’re reading this, maybe one of them could help you too. I most likely won’t tackle these all at once because that is unrealistic, but 1/2/3 steps at a time. Each one helps in allowing me to feel more like myself again.

-Drink more water

-Eat more nutritious foods

-Move my body

-Work on something creative as a hobby (aka this blog)

-Figure out what I should do for work (try to find something I care about and enjoy)

-Make time for beauty activities that make me feel good (skincare, doing my makeup, wearing clothes that make me feel good and making commitments to other self-care activities)

- Start to think/act on the few adult-adult responsibilities I have to address and do eventually now that I am post-grad and 22.

-Practice and promote self-love and healing

Once these have been tackled (far from mastered), I can expand the list. As I evolve, my needs evolve. I hope to get to a place where I feel stronger overall- physically and mentally and to be more appreciative and productive. Sometimes you have to defeat your own blockade. Cue Miley, I need her wrecking ball. I'm getting out of my own way. All in all, I don’t really have any other choice but to keep going and figuring it out because life is very demanding! Gotta make that money, gotta be a loving partner, a pet mom, a daughter, a housemate, a student (I graduated, but college and school is a whole other ballpark/experience), a real parent (I’m not, don’t know if I will be- this is the biggest ballpark of all, one I can’t truly speak on), a sibling, and so many other roles that one may take on. It is really challenging to give little pieces of yourself to different aspects of your life and still be expected/able to give attention and care to yourself wholeheartedly. But you (and I) have to, as it is most important.

Honor your accomplishments, spend time with the people you love, look inward, be creative, address your mental health (craft a plan to make it better), make a change if necessary for your well-being, try your best to be kind to your body, and feel your emotions. Do not build a dam, it will be destined for leaks and cracks. It's undeniable that we truly are the only ones that can pull ourselves back to ambition to strive/grow/be alive. We, ourselves, alone have to figure this shit out and address what we want in life. Take it. Let the universe build you a bridge to get to the next checkpoint but know that you have to bring the screws to stabilize it.  Thank the universe or those sent in our lives here to support us. I hope you have someone who supports you. If not, I hope you find someone someday who may change everything for you. In divine timing, but for now you have everything within yourself. Additionally, filter out the people who are making your screws loose. As we know, loose screws make us feel a bit crazy.

Since taking a step towards change, I immediately felt a weight lifted and a comforting sense of hope/opportunity wash over me. I am going to continue to soak up this newfound ambition and desire for self-improvement. I just want to feel better. I have always been extremely self-aware, but self-awareness does not equate to self-assurance.

I have the power to make a change.

I have the power to invest in myself.

I have the power to act on my goals.

I have the time to learn, live, and evolve.

I'm not sure if all my blogs will match this length moving forward, some more some less, but this is what just came to me naturally when feeling like I wanted to give context on a transitional period of my life and where I’m at now diving back into this. Additionally, I want to dive more deeply into what I’ve been reflecting on recently and different topics that I ponder on. If you have any topics or experiences you would like me to write about, please let me know. The year is almost over. I’ve been manifesting bitch. Like saying shit out loud. I’m really trying to call my exhausted energy back into myself with light, abundance, and love. I drove under a big ass full moon tonight spewing verbal affirmations I’m attracting to myself while listening to This Night Has Opened My Eyes by The Smiths. Great time. Recommend.

You can always call power back to yourself.

You can always choose yourself.

You can always work towards something better.

You’re just going to have to work for it.

Ew! I know.

Jk.

We got it.

Peace and love,

Emma

Song of the Blog:

Brilliant Mind III by Blanco, 163Margs